上班族必備軟實力

[Richard has been sensing the future from Taipei since 1997.]

I used to be psychic. I could foretell trends and events. Many of my predictions proved to be accurate. With a flash of insight, I could see the outcome of a sporting match or political election. The next fashion crazes were within sight of my mind’s eye.

For example once I had sudden and sure knowledge that a famous celebrity couple would soon get divorced. I knew it, but I couldn’t see who it would be. I had the feeling that the wife in this case would be extremely attractive. It was only a month or two later that Burt and Loni broke up. Just as I had predicted. Loni Anderson was quite beautiful in those days.
 

I don’t use the cards.

My reputation as a reliable psychic spread to others in my circle of friends, and I resolved to use my powers for good and not for evil. I never played the lottery, for example, because it would not have been fair to everyone else if I kept winning all the money.

The power that once distinguished me has disappeared within the last few years. I now have very limited powers of precognition. I can’t seer my way out of a plastic garbage bag. The future has become a complete mystery to me, and it makes me sad. It’s only when something is gone that we miss it. I never realized how easy my life had been. I feel so ordinary now.

My theory is that the loss of my powers is due to the natural process of aging. I, like many people when they get older, have trouble remembering the little things like the names of celebrities, movie stars, and coworkers. I can picture a starlet in my mind but I can’t remember what her name is or what movie or TV show she was in. I will let my mind go blank and maybe I will see something like a ship on the ocean. It is heading for an iceberg. Maybe this was from a movie she was in.

That is where my psychic powers went. I have been wasting them on trying to remember stuff. I must learn how to conserve my great powers, and use them for the good of all mankind. It’s kind of like in that movie with the guy that drives the car. I can’t remember his name, but he drives fast and beats up bad guys with his karate. It’s “weasel” maybe. I am thinking of a rodent, like a weasel.

I sense that you are reading this. Thank you very much.